Aliveatwork's Blog


Staying True To Yourself … Follow The Money!
November 17, 2011, 6:53 am
Filed under: Aliveness, Empowerment, Self Improvement | Tags: , ,

I was having a phone conversation with a very dear friend the other day. We were discussing my favorite topic as of late … authenticity.

As we discussed the topic we chatted about how being authentic also means that you live in alignment with your values. She then asked me “So Joe, what do you value, what’s important to you?”

I had to stop and think about it for a moment because I felt a little stuck. Then she asked, “Where are you spending your time and your money because that will tell you what you value!”

WHOA, stop, hold your horses, kill the power, stop the train, shut … the  front door!!

I had never heard that question asked in that way before and it really got me thinking. So I took out my MasterCard statements and pulled out my checkbook … and that’s when I had an epiphany.

I AM NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH MY VALUES!

Okay so after the initial shock wore off and I decided that this was not the end of the world, I decided that it was time to regroup and start making some adjustments.

Below are the questions I asked myself in order to get back on track and move towards my authentic self. You might want ask yourself these same questions if you should ever find yourself in the same place.

  1. What do I really love to do? What makes my heart sing? What are the things that I can’t … not … do?
  2. How much of my time, energy, and financial resources, am I committing to these things that light me up?
  3. What would I need to do to realign myself with the things that bring me joy and happiness?
  4. When will I take action?
  5. How will I stay on track?

The world is a crazy place … it makes so many demands on our time and our resources. It is so easy to get distracted from the path we walk that leads us to our authentic selves.

We get buried at work, we get lost in a relationship, or maybe we find ourselves in a situation that robs us of our peace and serenity.

We may allow ourselves to get overrun by fear, buy into the garbage that the media shoves in our face, or start believing the constant barrage of advertising that tells were not enough and shows us how to be more like somebody else … someone other than who we are!

All of these things can lead us on a path away from our authentic selves. And if we stay too long on that path, eventually we will find ourselves unhappy, disgruntled, or worse yet …  lost and unclear about who we are!

So how do you know if you’re on the right path?

You might want to start by examining your credit card statements and your checkbook … it might be time for a realignment!

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Great Leadership Is NOT ….

Great Leadership is not a reward for performance … it’s a calling.

Many times we find good performers who were promoted to a leadership role even though they lack the skills, talent, or most importantly, the desire to be a leader.

In most companies leadership is a reward for great performance. We take our top producers, promote them, and then expect them to take the rest of their team up to the same level of performance that made them so great. In some cases this scenario plays out as expected, the sad truth is that in most cases it doesn’t.

Companies are filled with unhappy workers not because the employee’s dislike the company … but because they dislike their leader. Statistically it has been proven that people don’t leave companies … they leave leaders.

3 Thoughts About Being A Great Leader …

  1. Being a great leader requires more than just talent and skills. It requires a burning desire to help others transform their lives so they can reach their maximum potential. If you were born to lead you don’t want to do anything else and you will do what ever it takes to achieve your goal of be a great one.
  2. Being a great leader isn’t just about desire either, it requires that you lean into the truth about who you are at your core. It requires that you push through obstacles and self-limiting beliefs  so that you can show up full out with all of your talent, brilliance, and genius.
  3. Being a great leader means that the focus of your leadership is not about you … it’s about the people you are privileged to lead … yes, leadership is a privilege!

3 Questions You Can Answer:

  1. Do you have a burning desire to lead … is it your calling?
  2. Are you clear about who you are at your core?
  3. Who is the focus of your leadership … you or your people?
3 Actions You Can Take:
  1. If you answered ‘no’ to question number 1 you might want to do you and your people a favor … resign, quit, walk away. There’s a chance you could be doing more damage than good … not just to your people but yourself as well ?
  2. If you answered ‘no’ to number 2 … start by buying the StrenghFinder Profile 2.0 Assessment and discover your base strengths. It is a great first step, then look into hiring a Coach to help you take the next step in developing yourself as a leader. By the way … I know a guy!
  3. If you answered  ‘no’ to number 3 … it’s probably time to do a gut check and a realignment … if you’re not willing to do that you might want to revisit action number 1.
How will you know if your leadership is a calling … you simply can’t imagine doing anything else!


Authenticity …

This past Monday was Halloween and for the first time in  over 20 years I was one of “those” people who didn’t pass out candy. Instead, I shut off the Malibu lights killed all the lights in the house and went out to dinner. I guess you could say … I was hiding!

Driving back home I saw all of the kids walking up and down the street dressed in their costumes and hidden behind their masks … so that got me thinking.

How often do we fail to show up as our authentic selves and instead choose to hide behind a mask or facade?

Showing up as our authentic selves can actually be pretty scary. I mean, what if we show up and people don’t like us? Then what? At least if we show up behind a mask and they don’t like the mask then we don’t get rejected. They are simply rejecting the mask!

Being authentic means that we show up with all of our parts. We show up in our brilliance and our genius as well as our not so perfect parts, yes even our flaws.

The truth is that deep down inside all of us want and need to be loved for who we are … who we are at our core … with all of our pieces and parts.

The challenge is that if you’re not willing to let people know ALL of you …  how can they possibly love and accept the real you.  When we hide they are accepting the image that we project … not our authentic self!  And that my friends can leave you  feeling a little empty and a bit alone even in a room filled with people.

So what about you?

Are you bringing all of you to work, to your relationships, to your marriage, or partnerships?

By the way, I am not saying to walk into work and share your deepest most intimate secrets with a stranger or even a friend for that matter. I’m just challenging you to be who you are and not pretend to be someone you’ re not!

I wonder how that might impact your connection to others … including yourself.