Aliveatwork's Blog


Straight and Narrow?
October 31, 2011, 11:07 am
Filed under: Aliveness, Empowerment, Self Improvement | Tags:

I’ve learned that integrity is not about staying on the straight and narrow path 100% of the time.

Your integrity is defined by the actions that you take when you’ve stepped off the path and need to get back on.

Regardless of how painful it may be or how you may or may not be perceived.

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Who Would’ve Thought?

Billy & Timmy

My brother Billy is an extraordinary man. For years I have watched as he’s bumped up against and then pushed through the mental challenges that he was given at birth … you see Billy is developmentally challenged.

Growing up we had other words for people who are now referred to as  “special needs” and because of many of those words I was in my fair share of fights with ignorant kids and unenlightened people.

A number of years ago Billy befriended Timmy, another “special needs” man who lives down the street. Timmy is autistic … think Dustin Hoffman in his role as the Rain Man. If you give him a date and a year he will blurt out, “Joe Contrera, October 27, 1961 that was a Friday” and Timmy will be right.

At first Billy didn’t like him, in fact Billy would say, “but he’s afraid of dogs Joe … he’s stupid or he talks too much.”

Timmy didn’t have any immediate family. Over the years he lost all of them, first his mom, then his father and finally his older brother who Joe passed away at a very early age leaving Timmy an orphan under the guardianship of his uncle.

It’s stuff like this that happens in life that just doesn’t make sense to me. Why does someone who needs their family to survive, lose their family, while others who don’t even appreciate their family still have them?

One day Billy and I were talking and I said, “You know Bill, I’m wondering if you could look in on Timmy from time to time and see how he’s doing … maybe he could use a friend?”

Almost 5 years have passed since that day and over time Billy and Timmy have become best friends. They watch reruns of old television shows like Hogan’s Heroes and Mayberry RFD together (Billy owns the complete DVD collections).

Billy makes sure that Timmy gets to local carnivals or out to dinner. Recently they went to a Cleveland Indians baseball game together with my nephew Kevin.

A few weeks ago Billy was in the hospital. One of the first people to visit him was Timmy. He brought him a get well card with 3 dollars in it.

Who would’ve thought that these two gifted men would become such good friends?

Sometimes we get so inundated with life that we step over the things that are important: caring for others, spending time with a friend, or just being there for someone in their time of need.

So here’s my question to you: Is there someone you know going through a tough time that could probably use a friend right now?

If so, walk away from your computer right now and pick up the phone and call them … go spend some quality time together … you never know it might be the brightest spot in their day or week.

I’ve learned a lot of things from my brother Billy … one of those lessons is that no matter how impossible a situation might look … everything happens for a reason … who would’ve thought?



Getting what you need … ?
October 22, 2011, 8:34 am
Filed under: Aliveness

“You can’t always get what you want … But if you try sometimes … well you just might find … You get what you need!”

 The Rolling Stones

Ever had the thought that you weren’t getting what you wanted?

Sometimes we focus so much on what we don’t have that we lose sight of the fact that we are getting everything we need in so many other areas of our lives. Oh sure it would be great to have more money, a bigger house, a newer car, a different job, etc.

I’m not saying  … that we shouldn’t work toward achieving our goals.

I’m just saying … if you overlook all the areas where you actually ARE getting exactly what you need … you could find yourself in a constant state of  “never enough” which equals = scarcity which leads to unhappiness.

So here’s a thought:

What if you took an inventory of all the areas of your life where you’re getting what you need (your business, your life, your relationships, etc.) ?

And then reviewed the inventory list for the next week ….

And then maybe you might just find …

“You get what you need–yeah, oh baby … Oh yeah!”



Finding Your Authentic Self …
October 11, 2011, 9:36 am
Filed under: Aliveness, Empowerment | Tags: , ,

When we are not living in alignment with our authentic selves (who we are at our core) the symptoms can show up in a number of ways in our lives. It may be boredom, burnout, depression, job hopping, relationship hopping, or simply being dead @ work.

Our authentic selves are not the facade or the mask which we sometimes hide behind. Being authentic means letting go of trying to manage or control what other people think of us and simply be ourselves.

The path to discovering your true authentic self starts on the inside, it is an inside – out process.

Interestingly though, most people attempt the outside – in approach. Meaning we look outside of ourselves for the answer to who we really are. We allow ourselves to be influenced by the media who tells us that we need the next new car, job, relationship, assignment, promotion, sale, house, etc. so that we can show the world that we have value … that we are enough.

My experience as an Executive Coach has proven time and time again, that regardless of your title or position, deep down inside, all of us struggle with the question … am I enough?

You say you don’t question whether you’re enough … really?

Then why do you still compare yourself to others? Why do you compare what you to what others have or don’t have?

If you truly believed you were enough you wouldn’t care what other people said, thought, or did …. It simply wouldn’t matter!

So where can you find your authentic self?   

You can find it in your story and the compilation of stories that have helped define and shape your life. Those stories and those experiences are unique to you and only you. No one else can live, tell, or share, your story.

Understanding your story will unlock the key to your uniqueness because it is in your uniqueness that you will find the … real you … your authentic self. If you want a great head start on discovering your authentic self, take the StrengthFinder Profile. You can find it here: StrengthFinder 2.0 at Amazon  It will help you to start to answer the question: What makes me unique?

So what’s your story?

What really makes you unique?

Wouldn’t that be an interesting question to end the day?