Aliveatwork's Blog

And the Truth Shall …

A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to work with a  group of Leaders. At one point in the day we arrived at a fork in the road.

Path A: Ignore the elephant in the room and continue to pretend that everything was “fine,” even though everyone knew it was not!

Path B: Own the truth about themselves and each other and speak it directly and without blame. Not from a place of anger but from a place of  ownership, responsibility, and intention.

They chose path B,  and I have to admit there were some very intense moments as we worked through the process. There was hesitation, fear, doubt, and all the things that normally prevent people from speaking their truth.

And when it was done …

There was relief, a lightness, a sense that a 100 lb weights had been lifted off of their chests … in a word … freedom.

No hiding, no pretending, just the truth.

So many time we are afraid to speak the truth, we fear the worst, because we fear loss of some kind. And yet time and time again when Leaders are courageous and speak the truth from a loving place and not a place of fear  … amazing things happen.

Teams become closer, walls come down, leaders get clarity about themselves and their colleagues.

Maybe that John guy was right, “you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”

So what about you … need a little more freedom in your life?

Authenticity …

This past Monday was Halloween and for the first time in  over 20 years I was one of “those” people who didn’t pass out candy. Instead, I shut off the Malibu lights killed all the lights in the house and went out to dinner. I guess you could say … I was hiding!

Driving back home I saw all of the kids walking up and down the street dressed in their costumes and hidden behind their masks … so that got me thinking.

How often do we fail to show up as our authentic selves and instead choose to hide behind a mask or facade?

Showing up as our authentic selves can actually be pretty scary. I mean, what if we show up and people don’t like us? Then what? At least if we show up behind a mask and they don’t like the mask then we don’t get rejected. They are simply rejecting the mask!

Being authentic means that we show up with all of our parts. We show up in our brilliance and our genius as well as our not so perfect parts, yes even our flaws.

The truth is that deep down inside all of us want and need to be loved for who we are … who we are at our core … with all of our pieces and parts.

The challenge is that if you’re not willing to let people know ALL of you …  how can they possibly love and accept the real you.  When we hide they are accepting the image that we project … not our authentic self!  And that my friends can leave you  feeling a little empty and a bit alone even in a room filled with people.

So what about you?

Are you bringing all of you to work, to your relationships, to your marriage, or partnerships?

By the way, I am not saying to walk into work and share your deepest most intimate secrets with a stranger or even a friend for that matter. I’m just challenging you to be who you are and not pretend to be someone you’ re not!

I wonder how that might impact your connection to others … including yourself.

What if you only had 7 minutes … left on earth?
September 29, 2011, 5:38 am
Filed under: Aliveness, Empowerment, Self Improvement | Tags: , , , , ,

Okay so it sounds like an absurd question? And yet I was asked to answer it … today!

I was filling out a survey in order to do some work with a woman I consider to be a master speaker and coach (all of us need coaches).

As part of the process,  I had to fill out a survey of filled with some very poignant questions. One of those questions was this: As a speaker, if you only had 7 minutes to speak to people before you left the planet … what would you say?

Excuse me … pardon me … 7 minutes…. are you kidding me!!!! I need more time! Can I have 7 hours, okay how about 7 months, even better 7 years … and that’s my final answer!!!

Let’s be honest, most of us don’t think about how much time we have left here and yet the truth is this: next year at this exact time … some of us won’t be here!

So if you only had 7 minutes to talk to people before you died, what would you say? Would you tell everyone what you think is most important in life, would you tell them what to do or to remember? Or would you tell how they should live their lives?

So here’s what I would say:

  1. Everything in your life is perfect and unfolding exactly as it supposed to be. There are no coincidences. Trust the process!
  2. One of the most important decisions you will make is whether you believe you live in a friendly or hostile universe – Einstein
  3. Your sense of self worth and value is directly proportionate to your level of success in life.
  4. You are an amazing incredible extraordinary being created for an amazing purpose. You just have to uncover it and it’s imprinted on your soul. It’s there … look deeply because sometimes it gets covered with lies and old beliefs that don’t serve you or anybody else anymore. The key to discovering the truth about you lies in your ability to push through your fear and truly love yourself and others. Do that my friends and you will get as close as you can get … to heaven on earth!

So that’s what I would tell everyone and I didn’t need 7 minutes!

So what about you … what would you say?

If you really think about it … if it’s that important that you would be willing to spend the last 7 minutes of your life telling everyone on earth…

Maybe you should tell them … today?

Be the Ball … not the Egg!

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

There has been much debate about whether Humpty Dumpty was actually an egg … or not. The point here is that whatever he was, he certainly didn’t bounce back from his fall.

On any given day, we might be met with news or information that we dread.

It might be personal in nature – Maybe it’s a discouraging lab report, the bank didn’t approve the loan restructure, a phone call informing us that someone we love passed away, or someone we love is walking away.

Maybe it’s a business related matter – We didn’t get the contract renewal, we lost the big order, we didn’t get our dream job, we lose what we thought was a great job, or one of our star employees hands us their resignation letter and says “I’m leaving,”

Whatever the situation, whatever the circumstance, how we frame the event and what we make that event mean in our minds determines our ability to bounce back from adversity.

Yes, we may be in a painful place at that moment in time. However, we don’t have to stay in that painful place forever!

Sometimes the difference between bouncing back and breaking are the choices we make. To trust or not to trust … that is the question!

Sometimes you just have to trust: 

TRUST that things will get better. There will always be better opportunities, relationships, contracts, employees, or jobs. We will always find what we set our focus on – focus on what you want.

TRUSTthe process. Believe that everything unfolds exactly as it need to be. It doesn’t matter if we agree with the current situation, facts, decision, or whether or not we like how it is unfolding. Always trust the process.

TRUSTand let go. Sometimes we have to let go of people, jobs, relationships, opportunities, or something we love so that we can make room for something or someone new.

Your ability to trust and the depth of your trust determines your ability and the speed in which you will bounce back!

In other words … be the ball … not the egg!