Aliveatwork's Blog


Divisive or Decisive … It’s Your Call!

DIVISIVEIt’s easy to get caught up in the barrage of divisiveness that seems to be running rampant in our world.

The politicians in Washington D.C. can’t seem to get pass the bipartisanism that divides us … even when the future of our country is at stake.

And if you consider the magnification of this divisiveness by the media who seems hell bent on exaggerating either the US side or the THEM side, it could lead you to feel quite hopeless … if you let it.

Arthur Schopenhauer was a German philosopher who said …

In truth, the world is neither for us or against us: it is but raw material in our hands, and can be heaven or hell according to what we are.

The level of success you have in your life will not be determined by which side of the aisle you stand on. It will be determined by the actions you take, based on the priorities you have in your life, with the resources’ you have in front of you, at this moment in time.

Wasting your time and energy debating, fearing, or condemning others or their ideals will not help you to achieve the level of success you want and are capable of.

What if …

  1. What if today you decided that you were going to get clarity on what it is you really want to accomplish in life?
  2. What if today you decided to stop filling your mind with all the bipartisan garbage and media trash and instead, focused solely on achieving your goals in both business and in life?
  3. What if you made a detailed list of actions to achieve the results you wanted and then prioritized them in order so that you had a plan to follow that would keep you on track?

You have the power to create your life to be anything you want it to be. You simply have to decide what it is that you want and then prioritize your action steps  so that you can achieve the results that you want.

Two final thoughts …

  1. Don’t allow someone else to determine your level of success.
  2. And for god’s sake … don’t allow someone else to determine what your experience will be while you are living and breathing on this good earth!

 



Do You Really Know How To Swim?

high_dive

Recently, a friend of mind and I were discussing the topic of commitment. I was sharing a situation where I felt that I needed to be ‘all in’ or not. Fence-sitting for too long can be uncomfortable.

Let me add here, that at times, I have been known to analyze, scrutinize, and over-think, a situation to death … and this was one of those times!

My friend Matt was telling me about a television show he watched where they asked a guy if he knew how to swim. The guy replied, “Sure, I watched videos on the internet and practiced on the kitchen floor!”

Matt was quick to follow up with, “Imagine someone thinking they could swim because they watched a video, rolled around on the floor, BUT never got in the water!”

It get worse!

He then said “So are you in … or are you out … you know you said those exact same words to me not too long ago … remember?”

One of the worst things about having a close friend is that they will remind you of things you told them when they were in a similar situation. One of the best things about having a close friend is that you can trust them to tell you the truth … even when it stings.

What’s The Point?

  1. You can’t swim … until you get in the water.
  2. You won’t realize your dreams … until you take a step to act-u-a-l-i-z-e them.
  3. You aren’t a leader …. because you read a book on leadership or have a title!
  4. You aren’t a parent … if you’ve never raised kids!
  5. You will never experience love … if you’re not willing to be open your heart, take a risk, and let it in!

If you truly want and desire something you have to be willing to take a leap of faith and jump into the deep end of the pool. And you have to do it … even if you’re afraid.

A lot of people have dreams and desires … few people are willing to risk what it takes to experience them.

Bill Cosby once said, In order to succeed, your desire for success should (must) be greater than your fear of failure.

So do you need to jump in the pool in some area of your life?

If so … my wish for you is that you choose … the deep end?



An Opportunity of a Lifetime

Webster defines op•por•tu•ni•ty as:

1. an appropriate or favorable time or occasion:
2. a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal.

So what might be stopping you from taking advantage of a favorable time or occasion?

Maybe you’ve heard this before …

I would … if it were only the right time.

I would if the economy, situation, recovery, timing, circumstances, or situation were … right!

When I reflect back on some of the greatest opportunities in my life,  it always seemed like at the time, it was never the perfect time to take action.

February 8, 2000. I am sitting on a beach with my mentor overlooking the Sea of Cortez, it’s a turning point in my life.

I want to be a professional speaker and yet I am afraid of unlocking the golden handcuffs that had me locked in to a highly paid job that I had outgrown.

My mentor says to me, “So when will you leave your job and follow your dream?”

“September …  I will resign in September,” I reply.

He asks again only this time louder, almost shouting, “So when will you leave your job and follow your dream?”

I was shaking, I was scared. He was challenging me to walk away from my identity, my security, and everything I had worked toward for 17 years!

23 days later I resigned and my life has never been the same!

And why am I telling you this?

Chances are you have a dream or an idea that you haven’t acted on … yet!

Maybe you hear that inner voice whispering that you are not living the life that you want to live or being the person you know you can be.

Do you find yourself saying, “I will jump when the economy turns around, the election is over, I feel more secure, the stars are aligned, or when things feel more right?”

The truth is …  there is no perfect time, right time, safe time, etc.

There is now! Right now!

Right now is the perfect time to make that move, to start that business, to play big, to take a leap of faith, knowing you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

NOW is an opportunity of a lifetime … you just have to open your eyes and let go of your fear.

So are you ready for your opportunity of a lifetime?



It’s not my Fault … it was the At – titude ….

You’ve heard them …

On television, in the news, at your office, your church, even your kid’s volleyball game!

People complaining and blaming others for their short falls and failures.

It surprises me that they actually believe their failures have nothing to do with themselves. They believe the fault lies with some – thing or some – one else.

I believe the reason many people do not succeed at the level they desire is because they have blocked their path to success with self-imposed obstacles.

Self-imposed obstacles can show up in any number of different ways, however most of them originate from our internal thoughts and beliefs.

So is it possible your path to success might be littered with a few limiting beliefs?

Below is a short list of 10 self-limiting beliefs (obstacles) that could be stopping you.

  1. Believing that your past will determine your future.
  2. Believing that everyone else has what it takes to succeed .. everyone BUT you!
  3. Believing that there is not enough abundance in the world and you must take from others to have enough for yourself.
  4. Believing those old, worn out lies that were handed to you as a child. Beliefs like … “You will never amount to anything because you are not __________ enough or your too _________ (fill-in-the-blanks).”
  5. Believing that other people knows what is best for you.
  6. Believing that you shouldn’t ruffle any one else’s feathers so it’s best to play small to keep the peace.
  7. Believing that you must play the cards you were dealt for the rest of your life (hey, if they can change decks in Vegas … you can change the deck you were dealt … you just have to change what you believe).
  8. Looking at the resources you have and seeing them as obstacles.
  9. Believing that you are responsible for someone else’s obstacles or self-limiting beliefs (thanks to my friend Richard for sharing).
  10. Forgetting that you are extraordinary and powerful beyond measure … yes you are amazing!

When we don’t succeed it is easy to point our finger at something else and say … it was the altitude, it was someone else’s fault that I … lost, looked bad, didn’t deliver, or didn’t win.

It takes a courageous person to own that the reason they are not winning is due to their own self-imposed obstacles.

Zig Ziglar once said that “it is your attitude not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.”

Let me just say in the spirit of Zig …

“Your ability to fly is determined by your ability to remove the self limiting obstacles(beliefs) from your path. The fewer obstacles in your way … the higher you will go!

So what altitude are you cruising at these days?



It’s a Manner of Respect …

I was raised to “respect my elders.”

I was taught that “children should be seen and not heard.”

And if I did those things I would be a well-mannered, well-behaved child.

Not saying it was perfect or right … just saying it is what I was taught.

Nowadays it appears that the pendulum has swung 180 degrees in the opposite direction.

We seem to have very little respect for our elders almost as if they don’t deserve respect. Seeing what teachers have to tolerate in classrooms from students these days is appalling.

Watching a 4 year old in a shopping cart having a melt-down because they can’t have what they want and then smacking their mother while the parent tolerates it simply seems absurd to me. Children are seen and heard so loudly that they seem to be the ones running the family.

I am not saying we should go back to the draconian ways of the past, I just think we need to find a balance, a center when it comes to manners and how we treat each other.

It all boils to respect and the golden rule:

  • You can’t be a parent who doesn’t respect yourself and then demand respect from your children
  • You can’t demand respect from the younger generations if you don’t respect them or model respect for the older generations.

Children want, need, and deserve to be taught self respect. They want, need, and deserve to know that they have self worth and value and that they can make a difference. It’s in our DNA. They need to know you believe in them and sometimes that means not giving them everything they want.

Throwing money at your kids so you don’t have to spend quality time with them or so they don’t have a meltdown is just one way of disrespecting them. It sends the message that they are not valued and they can be bought for a few bucks.

Well mannered individuals are individuals who respect themselves and therefore have the capacity to respect others as well.

So what are you modeling?



And the Truth Shall …

A few weeks ago I had an opportunity to work with a  group of Leaders. At one point in the day we arrived at a fork in the road.

Path A: Ignore the elephant in the room and continue to pretend that everything was “fine,” even though everyone knew it was not!

Path B: Own the truth about themselves and each other and speak it directly and without blame. Not from a place of anger but from a place of  ownership, responsibility, and intention.

They chose path B,  and I have to admit there were some very intense moments as we worked through the process. There was hesitation, fear, doubt, and all the things that normally prevent people from speaking their truth.

And when it was done …

There was relief, a lightness, a sense that a 100 lb weights had been lifted off of their chests … in a word … freedom.

No hiding, no pretending, just the truth.

So many time we are afraid to speak the truth, we fear the worst, because we fear loss of some kind. And yet time and time again when Leaders are courageous and speak the truth from a loving place and not a place of fear  … amazing things happen.

Teams become closer, walls come down, leaders get clarity about themselves and their colleagues.

Maybe that John guy was right, “you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”

So what about you … need a little more freedom in your life?



The Problem With Loyalty …

Some leaders believe that because they hold a position or title, they deserve the undying loyalty of their people even when they treat others poorly.

That isn’t loyalty, that’s positional leadership and it is the lowest form of leader ship.

Some folks believe that because someone is “family,” they are entitled to the loyalty of the other members of the “family,” even though a member’s behavior doesn’t warrant it.

That isn’t loyalty, that’s dysfunction.

Politicians and voters believe that once you claim membership in a particular party, you must vote along party lines even if when you vehemently disagree  with a stance, position, or candidate.

That isn’t loyalty, that is submission bordering on totalitarianism.

Loyalty is not an entitlement, it is not a reward for achieving status, nor is it a reason to be guilted into doing something that you don’t want to do or saying something you don’t want to stay.

And yet people are strongly urged to vote along party lines to protect an idealism, they participate in unhealthy relationships in the name of preserving the family, and they believe that a word or letters after their name earns them respect.

As with all things … you can’t give away something that you don’t have.

In other words … you can not be loyal to something or someone else if you are first disloyal to your self!

It’s that simple …