Aliveatwork's Blog

Hope and Change and Change and Hope and … Get Over it!

Webster’s dictionary defines hope as a feeling.

It states … hope is “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.”

I believe that hope begins with a thought, a frame of mind, and that thought causes us to feel a certain way, and then we act on that feeling.

Nearly 4 years ago the world was filled with the idea of hope, actually hope and change. Four years later many people are filled with a sense of hopelessness because promises that were made were not kept. In many ways some folks are worse off than they were four years ago.

If you sat around and waited for someone else to step up and deliver you a basket full of hope, I can’t imagine you’re beaming with hope right now. And for the record it doesn’t matter who’s driving the bus!

This is not a statement about politics, it is a gentle reminder that no one … absolutely no one … is going to fulfill your dreams.

Not the government, your employer, the church, your spouse, your favorite sports team, or any other external factor … CREATING YOUR DREAMS AND ACHIEVING SUCCESS IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY UP TO YOU!

Sitting around and waiting for someone else to give you what you need will lead you down a path alright … a path that ends in hopelessness.

If you’ve lost your senses of hope lately here are 10 things you can do right now to take back control of your life and renew your sense of hope:

  1. Agree to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life … no excuses!
  2. Stop hanging around negative people who don’t line up with your values, your beliefs, or don’t believe in you … regardless of who they are.
  3. Stop watching the television and reading the newspaper. My friend Kama calls them hopesuckers and she’s right, they will literally drain you of any hope you that you have quicker than you can say lick-ity-split!
  4. Start reading books that will help you get what you want. Here are 3 I recommend: The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer, The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Choprah, and Power versus Force by David Hawkins.
  5. Decide that you already have everything you need in this moment to get the results that you want.
  6. Start meditating on a daily basis so that you can clear your mind of all of the distractions and old beliefs that are getting in the way of your dreams.
  7. Remember this is your one and only one life and that you are never too old to realize your dreams. Colonel Sanders was 66 years old when he started Kentucky Fried Chicken.
  8. Live as if everything you do will be the last time you will ever do it. Your last blog, kiss, sales call, etc.
  9. Remember that you are amazing and extraordinary and you have limitless possibilities.
  10. When and if you start to lose your sense of hope go back to the beginning of this list and start again …

Hope begins with your thoughts … so think big and never let anyone else tell you that they know better than you, what you need or what you are capable of …

That is my hope for you!

Acceptance … The Key To Happiness?

There are times in my life when I simply do not like what is going on.

When this happens I typically go into my “grab control of the situation” mode so that I could get things back to normal and in “control” again.

Recently I found myself traveling back to Cleveland 6 days prior to when I was I was scheduled because my Father’s condition had taken a turn for the worse. He had been under the care of hospice for about 8 weeks and his condition was deteriorating … in other words … he was dying.

Sitting on the plane I hoped and prayed that I would have the chance to see him one more time. As we landed in Charlotte to make the connection home I received a text message from my brother to call him as soon as I touched down … I was too late.

It is at moments like this one where we may begin to question our decisions. We can over analyze and second guess ourselves by asking questions like … should I have … what if I would have … or … why didn’t I?

Life continues to teach me two very important lessons:

  1. There are some things in life that I have a choice in. I can choose what I eat, what line of work I am in, how I treat people, how I react to various situations, etc.
  2. There are situations in life that unfold and I have absolutely no control over the situation … what-so-ever!

When I realize that that I am in a situation that is beyond my control, I find that acceptance is the key to my happiness. I don’t need to know why, I just need to accept the situation exactly the way it is!

And in acceptance … I find peace … and in this peaceful place I can see the unexpected gifts that are in front of me. Gifts I would never have seen had I been focusing my attention and energy on trying to change the situation or the outcome.

A Question For You …

Are there any circumstances or situations in your life, past or present, that you have not or are not willing to accept?

Are you holding on, harboring resentment, anger, or regret, because a situation, relationship, business deal, marriage, etc. didn’t work out exactly the way you wanted it too?

My wish and my hope for you this holiday season is that you would find a sense of happiness and peace in … acceptance.

Sometimes Stuff Happens …
September 22, 2011, 5:49 am
Filed under: Aliveness, Empowerment, Self Improvement | Tags: , , ,

We all have those times in life when you feel like you get a couple of curve balls thrown at you that brush you back from the plate and get your attention.

Adversity shows up in many different ways and through a variety of situations.

I try not to make these blogs personal and yet once in a great while you remember that life seems to be fragile and that loss is inevitable.

How do you deal with adversity especially when it seems to be focused on the loss or the anticipated loss of someone who has had an extraordinary impact on your life?

Most recently I had a trip back east for work. I was training and teaching in one city, speaking in another city and managed to squeeze in a visit in to see my family.

My father who has had a tremendous impact on my life has been ill for quite some time. However, during my trips home we always find a way to play pinochle, one of our favorite card games.

But this last time was different. I sat down next to him at the table, he was in his wheelchair, and my mom was seated across from him. I dealt the cards and as I did I noticed he was struggling … he looked up at me and said … I can’t hold the cards … he was crushed.

I quickly brushed it aside and said don’t worry Pop we can just talk … and we did. We talked about life and death, we discussed life after death and what we thought happens to us. We went back through his life and talked about all of his accomplishments but most of all what he had accomplished as a father to me and my brothers.

Later that night I went back to see him. He was frustrated and not feeling so good about how things were unfolding. We chatted some more and we talked. At one point it seemed as though I was no longer talking to my father but sitting alongside a fellow human being who is nearing the end of his path. At other times it felt as if I was the parent and he was the child and he was having a nightmare and needed to be consoled. It was an extraordinary day filled with extraordinary moments that I will never forget.


Maybe it’s your parent, sibling, spouse, or child. It could even be a coworker or friend that you need to have “that conversation” with and you’ve been putting it off. It doesn’t have to be about life or death, it could simply be words of appreciation or thanks.

Remember that life is short and you may only have one chance left to forgive, to let go, to say what you’ve been meaning to say but haven’t, for whatever reasons. There is no good reason to wait because sometimes … yes sometimes … stuff happens.

Be the Ball … not the Egg!

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

There has been much debate about whether Humpty Dumpty was actually an egg … or not. The point here is that whatever he was, he certainly didn’t bounce back from his fall.

On any given day, we might be met with news or information that we dread.

It might be personal in nature – Maybe it’s a discouraging lab report, the bank didn’t approve the loan restructure, a phone call informing us that someone we love passed away, or someone we love is walking away.

Maybe it’s a business related matter – We didn’t get the contract renewal, we lost the big order, we didn’t get our dream job, we lose what we thought was a great job, or one of our star employees hands us their resignation letter and says “I’m leaving,”

Whatever the situation, whatever the circumstance, how we frame the event and what we make that event mean in our minds determines our ability to bounce back from adversity.

Yes, we may be in a painful place at that moment in time. However, we don’t have to stay in that painful place forever!

Sometimes the difference between bouncing back and breaking are the choices we make. To trust or not to trust … that is the question!

Sometimes you just have to trust: 

TRUST that things will get better. There will always be better opportunities, relationships, contracts, employees, or jobs. We will always find what we set our focus on – focus on what you want.

TRUSTthe process. Believe that everything unfolds exactly as it need to be. It doesn’t matter if we agree with the current situation, facts, decision, or whether or not we like how it is unfolding. Always trust the process.

TRUSTand let go. Sometimes we have to let go of people, jobs, relationships, opportunities, or something we love so that we can make room for something or someone new.

Your ability to trust and the depth of your trust determines your ability and the speed in which you will bounce back!

In other words … be the ball … not the egg!